Expectation Vs. Reality

Have you seen those memes labeled Expectation vs. Reality? There is a Pinterest-perfect image or video clip contrasted with a laughable real-life disappointment. This past year has felt like that that for me, without the humor. My dearest dreams have been delayed with decreasing opportunity for fulfillment. My hopes have been deferred and all my sureties shaken. It seemed bitterly fitting that my 30^th birthday parodied all of this. By the end of the day, not only had Plan A not happened, I was down to Plan D which involved a friend and I getting a to-go appetizer to eat outside in a lightning storm. (By the way, for those of you who did see me on my birthday or reached out with a message if you couldn’t hang out in person, I really appreciated it! Thanks so much!) Unmet expectations and frustrated dreams are hard to handle.

I wonder though why we don’t usually talk about the reverse. What about when expectations are low and reality surprises with beauty and grace? What about when we expect little or nothing and are somehow showered with gifts? I can think of multiple times this has happened to me, but I realized I’m not as quick to share about it.

For example, I expected to eventually live in my own house. I could never have expected that my home for this season would be a spot so well suited to me as the Carriage House.

I expected that there would be times in my life when I would have to work unpleasant jobs. In reality, God has given me each job at the right time to be the exact fit for what I needed. Though some were better fits than others, I have enjoyed all of them so far.

I expected that my personality would always stay pretty much the same with all its faults. Amazingly, God has put me in different circumstances that have molded my personality even as an adult to be a better person, more like Him. He’s taught me how embrace the goodness and strengths of how He’s made me, but He’s also softened my rough edges and taught me not to be ashamed of my weaknesses.

There are countless other small cases when I expected an unpleasant situation, but was instead given grace.

Biggest of all, even if I didn’t cognitively agree with the feeling, I think I expected subconsciously that God would only love me if I met His expectations and standards. If I was hard on myself, wouldn’t a perfect God be even harder, with just reason? If God didn’t bless me, it must be my own fault. This is the expectation. But the truth is, the reality is…Jesus stands in my place and He measures up perfectly. God loves me with the sacrificial, fierce love that went to the most extreme lengths to reach me. The reach from heaven down to earth. The reach from divine to humanity. The reach from perfection to corruption. His love for me is not conditional on my performance, behavior, or even the strength of my faith. Faith, though as small as a mustard seed, focuses on the object of the faith, not its own strength.

Maybe you’ve felt this way too and you’re afraid that you’re failing God or that He can’t love you after the mistakes you’ve made. Jesus knows you’ll fail and He knows what you’ve done. He knows you will not love Him perfectly, but He loved you first anyway. His only request of you is that you believe and follow Him.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine (expect), according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21) *my emphasis added in parenthesis

I’ve played this song on repeat many times this year. I hope it encourages you too. Dimensions by Jess Ray

Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash